The Stranger in Your House by Gregory L. Jantz

Author:Gregory L. Jantz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Adolescent, adolescence, help, parent, teenager, teen, depression, counseling, sullen, moody
Publisher: David C Cook
Published: 2011-10-10T00:00:00+00:00

Bringing It Home

This is the chapter on co-occurring issues—the unwelcome and dangerous companions that can hitch themselves to your teenager’s ride through adolescence: self-injury, smoking, shoplifting or stealing, anger and violence, stress and anxiety, eating disorders, alcohol and drug use.

I’d like you to think over that list and evaluate your attitudes about each and what’s happening with your teen through the following questions:

How do you feel about each one? Do you see each as harmful to your teen? If not, why not?

Did you engage in any of these behaviors when you were a teenager?

Which one do you find the most dangerous to your teen? Why?

Which one are you the most willing to overlook? Why?

Which one would make you the most uncomfortable to talk about with your teen?

What has your teen heard from you about each one? What have you said to him or her?

How has that message been supported or undermined by your actions?

What could you do differently to match your actions with your words? How likely are you to actually do that? Why?

If you feel uncomfortable or unable to talk to your teen about any one of these behaviors, is there someone else you can ask, someone your teenager trusts and will talk to?

What concrete actions could you take today to help protect your teen from any of the dangers on that list?

What are you willing to change about yourself to help your teen?

For that last question, you may need to get out the photo collage you created in chapter 1. It doesn’t get any easier to change behavior as adults than it was as a teenager. If you are still engaged in any of these destructive behaviors, you haven’t found the motivation yet to stop even though you know how damaging they are. Look over the pictures; what is it going to take for you to change?

Notes:

1. “Cigarette Use Among High School Students,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 59.26 (July 9, 2010): 1, http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5926a1.htm?s_cid=mm5926a1_w.

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